"I Will Show Him How Much He Must Suffer..."

  I've been trying to meditate today on a verse that I came across in my tracing the origins of the Apostle Paul in my last post [1]. It struck me when I first read it some months ago, and it seems so apt for me to think about it now.

  It appears in the context of Christ's instructions to Ananias, one of his early disciples, regarding Saul of Tarsus after Saul had been struck blind while meeting Christ enroute to Damascus to persecute Christians there:

"But the Lord said to him, 'Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name." - Acts 26:9-11, ESV

   I have read the book of Acts a number of times over the years, but that tiny verse has escaped my attention till now. It's strange how these little things in the Bible just jump out at me in the middle of my personal circumstances, when my own heart is wrestling with God and asking the question: "Why, Lord?"

   I feel a certain twitch in my heart as I read this verse. Maybe it's because verses in the Bible on pain, suffering and hardship seem alright to read from a distance and nod the head in agreement with, until they're actually being applied to us. As a colleague at work thinking about his own experiences remarked yesterday, "It's alright as long as it's happening to someone else and not to you". Suddenly, I know what he's talking about.

   Looking back at the verse suddenly makes me feel sorry for the Apostle Paul, having found out something about the rest of his life. It's not fun when God allows pain and suffering for a purpose in someone's life, especially those who want to follow and obey Him. I suppose it must have been even less appealing for the persecutor of the church who thought he was doing God a favour, only to discover that he was in the wrong and now being recruited by Christ into the ranks of His persecuted.

   But those verses aren't really about Paul, or the disciple named Ananaias. I want to ask myself the question which is probably more important for me to think about at the moment - what do they say about God, and what can I learn from it?

   I was struck by God's mentioning of Paul as His "chosen instrument". It meant that God deliberately and purposefully picked and chose Saul of Tarsus, the terrorist, the religious zealot and Pharisee. Saul didn't chose God. God chose him, even when he was persecuting Christ and His church. God chose to meet someone who was an enemy of His gospel, and Saul had no say in the matter. He couldn't even raise a single line of protest. It says something about the overwhelming, unstoppable power and authority of God to do as He wishes in mine and everyone else's life. God has His say, and His way, all the time. He has the power and authority to pick and choose who He wants, to do what He wants, when He wants. As much as we like to think and talk about ourselves as being "captains of our ship", "masters of our fate", "in control", "self-actualization", "self-made man/woman", "confident", "assertive", "secure", "achiever",  the reality is that we delude ourselves in subscribing to that kind of thinking. It is an illusion, because it does not describe the reality of God, and the reality of the world that we live in.

   Thought I'm a firm and committed Christian believer, part of me feels uneasy thinking about that reality of God. I suppose it's because at the bottom of our sinful hearts, we want a "safe" God - a God who will leave us alone except when we need Him, not intrude into our lives, answer when we call Him, deliver what we ask of Him, when we ask Him and in the way that we tell Him to get things done. We want a God who will not protest, object, rebuke, get angry, discipline, judge what we do, and why we do it. We want a God who can only see into the areas of our lives that we want to show and share with Him, and doesn't know what we don't want Him to know or ask about. What we want, then is a "tame" God, a God in shackles, so that we can order and structure our world in the way that we want.

What we want, then, is not God, but "god". A servant.

We don't really want God, we want to be the God of god.

And that is called sin, and why we are called sinners.

   But God won't have any of that; He cannot be tamed. And so He picks Saul of Tarsus, to the shock of everyone else. He doesn't pick a pious, mild saint; He picks a terrorist. And then He goes on to pronounce what He intends to do with him: "I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name." (Acts 26:9-11, ESV).

    Chills run down my spine when I read this verse, for a number of reasons. The New Testament is replete with the story, suffering, sorrow and magnificent writings of Paul the Apostle. His is a great story to read about. But then the thought suddenly occurs - "What if God does that with me?" 

   As much as we admire and praise those who have suffered and experienced loss for Christ and lived lives of obedience and surrender, it doesn't feel that appealing when God brings it to our door, and demands obedience, promising us true joy in the process. Life isn't as rosy when God asks us to give up something we cherish and trust Him with our precious hopes and dreams for the future, when a spouse or child dies, when we experience financial loss, crippling health problems, and all the other myriad trials of life. 

   But yet there is hope, because Paul's suffering was not without purpose. It was for the sake of God's name, for the sake of God's glory. Paul's life, suffering and witness for Christ as an apostle took the Gospel into the heart of the Gentile world, and because of that we who are gentiles have heard the good news and been saved. Because God places the utmost worth on the glory and splendor of His name and His Gospel. In them I and everyone else who calls on His name has hope, for God's name and reputation are worth putting our trust in, and His Gospel is only good news. God has proven Himself to be good, true and faithful time and again in the lives of those who trust and hope in Him.

And I trust and hope in Him too.

- The Wisdom Seeker

A Letter To Rome: Once Upon A Time, There Was A Terrorist...

   I've just made it part way through a one-day fast which I had undertaken to study the Word and seek the mind of God regarding my life. With that done, this is my first post that actually starts my journey through the book of Romans, after my introductory post of more than a week ago, "A Letter To Rome: Thinking Through The Gospel". In that, I had recollected my initial motivations behind wanting to do this. I've never done a study like this before, so this is going to be scary and exciting at the same time. So here I go...

   It was approximately the winter of 57 AD, almost twenty-five years after the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. In the city of Corinth, a middle-aged man picked up his pen and began to write the introductory words of a letter. Addressed to the congregation of a tiny church, in what was acclaimed as the greatest city of the mightiest empire and epitome of civilization of the known world at that time, he began with a simple introduction, describing himself for who he really was:  

"Paul, a servant of Christ Jesus, called to be an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God" - Romans 1:1, ESV

   I believe it is worthwhile examining some of the background of the Apostle Paul, before wading any further into his letter. Who was he? What made him the man who wrote this letter? How did he suddenly get thrust into the unfolding events and narrative of Biblical history? Given that Paul finally contributed almost half of the books that comprise the New Testament, I think it makes sense to find out what I can about him.

   Paul first appears in the Acts of the Apostles, under a different name - Saul of Tarsus. The circumstances of his entrance don't seem terribly inspiring:

"Then they cried out with a loud voice, stopped their ears, and ran at him with one accord; and they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. And they stoned Stephen as he was calling on God and saying, 'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.' Then he knelt down and cried out with a loud voice, 'Lord, do not charge them with this sin.' And when he had said this, he fell asleep. Now Saul was consenting to his death."

- Acts 7:57-61, ESV

   I remember my reaction as a child reading my Good News Bible, when I first figured out what was going on in this passage and encountered Saul of Tarsus - I disliked him instantly. In fact, I'll be honest: I still feel ambivalent about my feelings toward Paul the Apostle. I'll try to figure out why as I go further along Romans. Hopefully, my feelings towards him will change. In any case, the case for "St. Paul" isn't going very well at this point. He essentially functioned as the approving overseer and witness of the execution of the first known martyr of the early church. In fact he admits to this himself:

"And when the blood of Your martyr Stephen was shed, I also was standing by consenting to his death, and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him."  - Acts 22:20, ESV

   Apparently, it doesn't stop there. Over the next few verses and one chapter later, I encounter the following:

"As for Saul, he made havoc of the church, entering every house, and dragging off men and women, committing them to prison...Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked letter from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem." 

- Acts 8:3, 9:1-2, ESV

   And as before, Paul plainly admits to doing this in a public statement later on:

"Indeed, I myself thought I must do many things contrary to the name of Jesus of Nazareth. This I also did in Jerusalem, and many of the saints I shut up in prison, having received authority from the chief priests; and when they were put to death, I cast my vote against them. And I punished them often in every synagogue and compelled them to blaspheme; and being exceedingly enraged against them, I persecuted them even to foreign cities." - Acts 26:9-11, ESV

   Having grown up in the Middle East, I find myself thinking at this point in the story: If this man were alive in our day and time, he would instantly be labeled a "religious terrorist" by the rest of the watching world who didn't support his cause. That probably isn't too far from the truth. I find it interesting that Paul makes honest and open admissions to all these facts about his history in a number of his letters [1]. "Well," I think to myself, "at least the man admits his past." That's not too bad, is it? But then something happens to Saul of Tarsus:

He meets the person and power of the risen Christ Jesus.

   And what a meeting it is! While taking his persecution to Damascus, Saul is struck down by a blinding light that is described as "brighter than the midday sun", and voice that identifies itself as "Jesus, whom you are persecuting." (Acts 9:5). I took note of the instructions that Christ issues to this persecutor of His church: "...rise and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do." (Acts 9:6). Blinded after the encounter, Saul cannot do anything else but obey.

   The story of Saul of Tarsus takes a 180-degree turn after that and is never the same again. His sight is restored by the prayer of a believer in Damascus, who is personally instructed by Christ to go and pray for his blinded persecutor. One of the most striking verses that I want to think about in a later post is one sentence in a passage that records Christ's plans for the life of this one-time terrorist:

"But the Lord said to him, 'Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the children of Israel. For I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name." - Acts 26:9-11, ESV

   Many years later, Paul the Apostle reflected on some of those sufferings in his second letter to the church in Corinth, before writing to Rome:

"...in labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night ad a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness - besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches."

- 2 Corinthians 6:23-28, ESV

   What a story this is, that emerges behind the first verse of the letter to the Romans! What pearls we find, when we dig through the only infallible, limitless, authoritative, inerrant, treasure that is the Word of God! I am convinced beyond any doubt that there is nothing like it; no tradition, edict, homily or saying from the mouth or pen of rabbi, pope, cardinal, saint, bishop, priest, saint, pastor, preacher, or religious teacher will ever be able to match the depth and brilliance of the power of Scripture, no matter how clever they may be. What a testament to the transforming power of God, who could take this self-righteous, religious zealot and Pharisee who willingly approved of the executions of early believers, and turn him into the spearhead of the early missionary movement that took the Gospel to the gentiles! What an encouragement to put my faith alone in Christ alone, to save and transform me by His grace alone, for His glory alone, because Scripture alone gives me proof through the life of Saul of Tarsus, now Paul the Apostle! What a redirection of ignorant and arrogant thinking to a life of power and purpose, because of whom we have almost half of our New Testament! What a difference in the man who finally describes the contrast of his old, useless life in empty religion with his new life in Christ in the following little autobiography in his letter to the Philippians:

"...circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of the Hebrews; concerning the law, a Pharisee; concerning zeal, persecuting the church; concerning the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. But what things were gain to to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith."  - Acts 22:20, ESV

   I can't believe that I've only gotten through the first verse of the book of Romans, and found this much to write about! I can't even begin to imagine what might happen as I keep going forward. This is going to be awesome. Thank You, Jesus, for a morning and afternoon well spent. Now to switch gears and carry on with Tim Keller's "The Meaning of Marriage" :)

Grace and peace to you,

- The Wisdom Seeker

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[1] 1 Corinthians 15:9, Galatians 1:13 & 23, Philippians 3:6, and 1 Timothy 1:13

Jesus, Religion, Spirituality And The Search For Truth

   It's been a long and busy, yet satisfying day at work. I'll be heading off to cook dinner in a few minutes and then settle down to do some study on the background of the apostle Paul for my next post on the book of Romans. While I was relaxing after getting home after work, I had remembered a YouTube video that had caught worldwide attention on the Internet at the beginning of this year, and wanted to watch it again. Here is Jefferson Bethke's poem titled "Why I Hate Religion But Love Jesus", delivered in the style known as "Spoken Word". If you decide to watch it, please remember that you can view it in full 1080p HD!

   I didn't get around to seeing this video till almost a month or more after its release. In a television interview with Jefferson Bethke on GBTV's "For The Record" [1] (also available on YouTube), it was reported that this video was second on the list of the top 100 viral videos to be seen around the globe amongst all the video content posted on the Internet to date. "Why I Hate Religion But Love Jesus" has been viewed in excess of 20 million times to date, spawned several responses in Spoken Word format from Muslims [2], Roman Catholics [3], Atheists, and many other quarters, and generated plenty of debate and conversation on the topic of Jesus, religion, faith, grace and the Gospel. Nonetheless, I was still surprised to see it being discussed by none other than Ravi Zacharias in an interview with Shawn McEvoy, the Managing Director of the Christian website Crosswalk.com, on Dr. Zacharias' latest book "Why Jesus? Rediscovering His Truth In An Age of Mass Marketed Spirituality". Here is the video of that discussion:

   I watched these videos today because of their connection with some of the topics discussed in Paul's letter to the church in Rome - sin, religion, the law and rules, the cross, salvation, justification, grace, and the saving, transforming power of the gospel. These are some of the most important questions that a human being in search of truth will encounter and wrestle with. I want to think through these in great detail for myself as I study the epistle to the Romans. 

   It is clear that Jefferson Bethke has wrestled with these questions himself in his own life, as he makes clear in this video and others. He recites his history as a 22-year old who was conceived out-of-wedlock, abandoned by his father, brought up in the church and presenting the neat facade of a Christian who attended church on Sunday, while struggling with pornography, drink and sex on the sidelines during the rest of the week. Despite the differences people may have with some of his assertions, it is clear that the power of the true Gospel has met him head on, and he cannot but help talk about it and make much of Jesus.

   And with the head-on collision with the Gospel in my life as well, I can't help it either.

Grace and peace to you,

- The Wisdom Seeker

REFERENCES:
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[1] GBTV's For The Record Inteviews Star of "Why I Hate Religion But Love Jesus"
[2] Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus (Muslim Response)
[3] Why I Love Religion, And Love Jesus (Roman Catholic Response)