This last week of July is quite significant for me - at the end of the month is my birthday. If by the grace and will of God I'm still alive by then, I will have come to the close of a major decade of my life and embark on the chapter that marks the beginning of the next. There were so many thoughts going through my mind as I wrote this during my lunch break, sitting by the trail and river that runs near my place of work. I've been coming here almost every other day or so over the last month, to find quiet time during the day to look back at the last 10 years, and think ahead to the future.
A decade! Ten years seem to have gone by at high speed, even as the memories of 20 seem to be so fresh and vivid. So much has happened in this time that I will have to keep for a later post of reflecting on the years gone past. So much is yet to come, and I shall similarly keep my thoughts of the future for another post about my hopes as well as my concerns. But that is not what I wish to focus on now.
I don't know what it's like to turn 30; I suppose I will find out in a few days, or possibly in the weeks to come. But I am experiencing what it is like to approach the final days of my 29th year. A change is definitely coming over me, having begun towards the middle of January this year and slowly but relentlessly picking up pace. There is a quiet seriousness, a feeling of gravity as I find myself contemplating the issues of life. There is also a slow but gathering sense of sure purpose, as I find myself increasingly moving in a direction in which I feel that I am being called by God for a burden that He wishes to entrust me with. Even as these continue to grow, I also find a silent commitment and determination that builds alongside them, both to the worldview and convictions that I currently hold and to become the man that God would wish to shape me into. And in the midst of this transition, there is both hope and happiness in the growing communion and closeness with the God who has known me before my existence and I am coming to know in return.
I'm also endeavouring to fast and pray this last week, seeking God's wisdom and direction of what He would have me do. I am in dire need of God's grace and mercy as this next stage begins. With all that is happening around me, life only seems to be accelerating in pace, not slowing down. And I am sure that the challenges that I will face will only become harder, not easier. I would be lying if I claimed that these things do not cause me some degree of anxiety or worry; the truth is that I often find myself wondering about the road ahead and what my legacy will be, both towards my God and those around me.
But I must remind myself that 'tis not to the past that a child of God is called, but to the future; not to doubt, but faith and trust; not to weakness, but strength; not to cowardice, but courage; not to enslavement, but freedom; not to defeat, but victory; not to immaturity, but maturity; not to backsliding, but growth; not to ignorance, but knowledge; not to foolishness, but wisdom; not to damnation, but to salvation; not to debauchery, but to sanctification; not the downward call to Hell, but the upward call to Heaven in Christ; not to shame, but to glory.
As much as I write these words from my heart, I know that I am more in need of reminding and encouragement than any who would read them. If there are others who come across this who are going through a similar time of transition and change in their life, I would be most interested in hearing what you have to say.
See you in the next post.
A decade! Ten years seem to have gone by at high speed, even as the memories of 20 seem to be so fresh and vivid. So much has happened in this time that I will have to keep for a later post of reflecting on the years gone past. So much is yet to come, and I shall similarly keep my thoughts of the future for another post about my hopes as well as my concerns. But that is not what I wish to focus on now.
I don't know what it's like to turn 30; I suppose I will find out in a few days, or possibly in the weeks to come. But I am experiencing what it is like to approach the final days of my 29th year. A change is definitely coming over me, having begun towards the middle of January this year and slowly but relentlessly picking up pace. There is a quiet seriousness, a feeling of gravity as I find myself contemplating the issues of life. There is also a slow but gathering sense of sure purpose, as I find myself increasingly moving in a direction in which I feel that I am being called by God for a burden that He wishes to entrust me with. Even as these continue to grow, I also find a silent commitment and determination that builds alongside them, both to the worldview and convictions that I currently hold and to become the man that God would wish to shape me into. And in the midst of this transition, there is both hope and happiness in the growing communion and closeness with the God who has known me before my existence and I am coming to know in return.
I'm also endeavouring to fast and pray this last week, seeking God's wisdom and direction of what He would have me do. I am in dire need of God's grace and mercy as this next stage begins. With all that is happening around me, life only seems to be accelerating in pace, not slowing down. And I am sure that the challenges that I will face will only become harder, not easier. I would be lying if I claimed that these things do not cause me some degree of anxiety or worry; the truth is that I often find myself wondering about the road ahead and what my legacy will be, both towards my God and those around me.
But I must remind myself that 'tis not to the past that a child of God is called, but to the future; not to doubt, but faith and trust; not to weakness, but strength; not to cowardice, but courage; not to enslavement, but freedom; not to defeat, but victory; not to immaturity, but maturity; not to backsliding, but growth; not to ignorance, but knowledge; not to foolishness, but wisdom; not to damnation, but to salvation; not to debauchery, but to sanctification; not the downward call to Hell, but the upward call to Heaven in Christ; not to shame, but to glory.
As much as I write these words from my heart, I know that I am more in need of reminding and encouragement than any who would read them. If there are others who come across this who are going through a similar time of transition and change in their life, I would be most interested in hearing what you have to say.
See you in the next post.
- The Wisdom Seeker
