The story of a fool, who fell in love with Wisdom.
"For wisdom is better than jewels, and all that you may desire cannot compare with her" (Prov. 8:11)
"Others were tortured, not accepting deliverance, that they might obtain a better resurrection. Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented - of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and mountains, in dens and caves of the earth."
- Hebrews 11:35-38, NKJV
Over the last week beginning November 4th with the International Day of Prayer [1], Willingdon Church participated in a week of prayer for persecuted Christians worldwide. At the culmination of this last week, we had the privilege of hearing Reverend Paul Johnson, Executive Director of Open Doors Canada [2] preach at Willingdon's sunday service today. I was fortunate to have the chance to have a long personal conversation with him after everyone had gone home.
Much of what we talked about that was close to our own hearts - missions, evangelism, theology, truth, suffering, life, faith, practice, sacrifice, purpose - reminded me of my own convictions in post I had written a week or two ago, "To The Last Drop of Blood." In the process, I was also reminded of the verses of Hebrews 11:35-38 that I've quoted above.
All of these challenge me once more as I examine my own life and conscience. I am reminded of my priorities and "first things", as one life among many others that have been called, more than an organization - a family. I am reminded that as much as my life and purpose are precious to God, so are those of others that form His church, of whom it is said, "a great multitude which no one could number, of all all nations, tribes, peoples and tongues." Where then, are my thoughts and concern for them, in the midst of all that crowds into my life clamouring for my attention? I was convicted by Rev. Johnson's observation during his sermon, that he found his own prayer life in want of fervor and discipline in comparison to those fellow believers whom he has encountered of the persecuted church around the globe. Is too much comfort and too little devotion slowly asphyxiating me?
I was also reminded by my Bible that while I am often found living my life in silent contemplation of my own "bubble world", a great cry has been heard in heaven. Blood cries out from the ground and voices have not been silent in heaven, of those whose blood has been spilt on account of the Christ they have followed, because they " did not love their lives, even unto death" :
"...I saw under the altar, the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the testimony which they held. And they cried with a loud voice, saying 'How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?" - Revelation 6:9-10, NKJV
While the blood and voices of the slain cry out on their own behalf,
why is mine not heard on behalf of the church that is being dragged to the slaughter?
And when asked of me, am I willing to join them?
"Watch and pray," Jesus said, "lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." Just as I am in desperate need of the good news of the Gospel preached to me everyday while struggling along the path of sanctification, so too do I need a daily reminder of what that entails in my life as part of the larger family in which I find myself:
"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnared us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." - Hebrews 12:1-2, NKJV
For you are not bound to the circles of this world
All things must pass away;
All life is doomed to fade
Sorrowing you must go,
And yet you are not without hope"
- Arwen, The Lord of The Rings
Ruminations of The Sage has reached its 100th post! Looking back on the last year and a half since I started taking this blog seriously, this is an opportunity for me to remind myself about who I've become, what I'm doing here and why I'm doing it. Like the occasion of the 50th post (The Redeeming Marriage Project), I wanted to write about the things that are important to me, with an accompanying metaphor that would neatly express what I feel at this point in my thinking and writing. And I could find fewer things more apt than some thoughts from the Apostle Paul's two letters to Timothy, his son in the faith, and a pivotal moment in the third installment of my favourite movie - The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King.
This blog was created four years ago because I was searching, and because I like to think. I was desperately searching for true wisdom because I was (and still am) convinced about a singular fact regarding myself that I knew was absolutely true then, and am assured of with even more certainty as the years go by:
I'm a fool. And I really need to change.
I wanted to live my life skilfully and live it well, with purpose and integrity. One of the things I feared (and perhaps still dread) was looking back with regret at the end of my life, with the thought "I've wasted my life...". And so I started thinking, and searching.
But more than that, I wanted to share my thoughts and experiences with others, because I was equally convinced about another fact related to the one about my own condition: I can't be the only fool out there. I wanted to help those like myself, who were desperately seeking a means to navigate their way through life, sometimes barely hanging on from one episode to the next. And so I started pouring my thoughts and anecdotes out here.
The last year, particularly the last few months, have been a time of rapid growth. Much of the recent change in my life has been due to the book I was given as a Christmas present, and which I've been trying to blog about as I contemplated its exposition of the gospel - "Jesus + Nothing = Everything", by Tullian Tchividjian. I'm convinced that I desperately want to live its message with everything that I have.
Jesus + Nothing = Everything
As I mentioned earlier, I'm partially writing this post as an encouraging reminder to myself of who I have become, and what I want to keep doing through this blog. So I'm turning to the two letters from Paul to his son in the faith, because I need my Heavenly Father to speak to me now. And I pray, dear reader, wherever you are, that He will speak to and encourage you too.
Scripture: Holding On To The Only Source of Wisdom
"teach no other doctrine, nor give heed to fables and endless genealogies, which cause disputes rather than godly edification which is in faith...from which some having strayed, have turned aside to idle talk, desiring to be teachers of the law, understanding neither what they say nor the things which they affirm." - 1 Tim. 1:4-7, NKJV
"Guard what was committed to your trust, avoiding the profane and idle babblings and contradictions of what is falsely called knowledge - by professing it some have strayed concerning the faith. Grace be with you." - 1 Tim. 6:20-21, NKJV
"Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. That good thing which was committed to you, keep by the Holy Spirit who dwells in us." - 2 Tim. 1:13-14, NKJV
"But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work." - 2 Tim. 1:13-14, NKJV
"I charge you therefore before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who will judge the living and the dead at His appearing and His kingdom: Preach the word!." - 2 Tim. 4:1, NKJV
I am convinced that there is no other teaching or instruction for life that will help my foolishness, other than that which is soundly built upon the written word of God. It is the only infallible source that I wish to put my faith and hope in. If there is anything valuable or useful on this blog that God uses to touch the lives of those who read the thoughts posted here, may it be the transforming power of His word.
Grace: Holding On To The Only Life Support Available
"And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into this world to save sinners, of whom I am chief." - 1 Tim. 1:14-15, NKJV
"You, therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus."- 2 Tim. 2:1, NKJV
"...who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ before time began..."- 2 Tim. 1:9-10, NKJV
Grace. I've been drowned in the overflowing, abundant and limitless grace of God all my life. I'm free because of His grace. I'm alive, breathing, seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling because His grace sustains me. The wretched fool that I am is loved by God, not because of who I am or anything that I've done to earn His affection, but only because of His Son who stands in His presence on my behalf.
Glory: Living For Him Alone
"Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen" - 1 Tim. 1:17, NKJV
"He who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, dwelling in unapproachable light, whom no man has seen or can see, to whom be honor and everlasting power. Amen" - 1 Tim. 6:15-16, NKJV
He is eternal; my life is a shadow that vanishes like the fog mist that hangs over Vancouver and dispels with the morning sun. He cannot die, cannot be killed; I do not know whether I will survive to the next minute. He alone has proven Himself to be wise; I have seen my reflection in the mirror of His Scripture and come away seeing myself for the fool that I am. He deserves the attention, always. May everything that is written on this blog point to Him, and not to me. I have nothing to say, except to talk about Him in this life and the life to come.
Christus: Holding On To The Only One Who Can Save
"For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all, toe be testified in due time." - 1 Tim. 2:5, NKJV
I have no one else to speak about here, no other person or source of help, hope or love to offer. The reason is simple - there was and is no other source of help or hope for my life and foolishness when I desperately needed it. No one else heard; no one else ran to help; no one else gave hope; no one else had the power to turn my life around; no one else can save.
Faithful: Standing Firm For The Reward From The Faithful One
"If you instruct the brethren in these things, you will be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished int he words of faith and of the good doctrine which you have carefully followed. But reject old wives' fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness."
- 1 Tim. 4:6-7, NKJV
"Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane and idle babblings, for they will increase to more ungodliness. And their message will spread like cancer."
- 2 Tim. 2:15-16, NKJV
"Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master." Those are the only words that I want to hear now, the only approval that I live for. No other praise from anyone in this world matters anymore. May I be found writing faithfully for Him.
Unashamed: The Shout Of His "Good News"
"Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God..." - 2 Tim. 1:13-14, NKJV
Here I am, Master. I'm ready.
It's time to hit the shower and head to bed. This has been an awesome night of prayer and meditation, thinking through some of the questions in my heart and listening to Christ speak as I wrote this 100th post. God has spoken powerfully and convictingly. I can only obey. May He give me the strength to hold my ground. I had referred to a moment from The Lord of The Rings: The Return of The King and I thought I'd include this clip of that scene here to wrap up this post.
"Like cold water to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country." - Proverbs 25:25
It's been a long and tiring day with work and other errands to get done, and I'm off to bed in a few minutes after having had a soothing shower. I'm still reading Tullian Tchividjian's "Jesus + Nothing = Everything", and am just coming to the half-way mark. I've been contemplating it's refreshing exploration of the Gospel through the day, and came back to a paragraph in the first chapter that is brings peace and reassurance as this day comes to and end. I wanted to share it here:
"That June morning was when Jesus plus nothing equals everything - the gospel - became for me more than a theological passion, more than a cognitive catch-phrase. It became my functional lifeline. Rediscovering the gospel enabled me to see that:
because Jesus was strong for me, I was free to be weak;
because Jesus won for me, I was free to lose;
because Jesus was someone, I was free to be no one;
because Jesus was extraordinary, I was free to be ordinary;
because Jesus suceeded for me, I was free to fail."
- Tullian Tchividjian, Jesus + Nothing = Everything
I need to soak in these words as I hit the bed. I need them because in them I recognize my need for Jesus. His Gospel breaks the chains. This is good news, and a cup of cold water. Speaking of which, I'm going to drink some and go to bed. It's going to be an early day tomorrow. Good night!
Jesus + Nothing = Everything, by Tullian Tchividjian
I was given a book by my roommate Paulman as a Christmas present. It was not one that I had heard of before, thought I had once caught a glimpse of his personal copy lying next to his computer in the living room - a simple black cover, with the title in red and white lettering. At the time, it didn't evoke more than just a casual and passing glimpse from me. Christmas came and went, and it was carefully placed among the other books in my little library, for later reading. But I am suddenly in haste to read it now, and finish it today if I can; it has become an important and urgent priority. It is written by a pastor named Tullian Tchividjian, and it's title is a simple statement, written in the form of a mathematical equation:
JESUS + NOTHING = EVERYTHING.
Why the urgency? Two events happened yesterday that brought this to the forefront.
The first was a casual phone call from someone that I'm close to that began well, but ended leaving me feeling uncomfortable and agitated, even angry. I still feel that familiar, tight feeling in the chest when I'm upset as I write this several hours later, and I know why. I didn't like what I heard, because it touched a raw nerve - the sensitive and conflicted area of my ongoing struggle to carefully think through my experiences with teaching and doctrine amongst different Churches that I have been through. It reminded me that this is an urgent and important issue for me to resolve, and provided fresh impetus to revisit the foundations of my faith and focus on the Gospel as a starting point.
The second was an examination of my heart during my quiet time this morning as I formulated my priorities, my "first things" for this year, and how I would like to live the next twelve months. I know what I want for 2012. I want to make this a year of systematic seeking for truth in my faith, especially in terms of understanding and differentiating between right and wrong doctrine. I want to explore two foundational elements of my faith in greater depth, which I believe I must stay riveted on in order to make sense of everything else - Christ, and His Gospel.
Stephen R. Covey, an expert in leadership development, made a statement in his book "First Things First" that has stayed with me: "The main thing in life is to keep the main thing the main thing." Some weeks ago, I wrote a post titled "To Follow Jesus All The Way", in which I quoted from the poem "My Choice" by martyred missionary William McChesney. I'm posting the whole poem here, because I believe it is very relevant to the "main thing" for this year. This is what it says:
MY CHOICE
I want my breakfast served at eight
With ham and eggs upon the plate
A well-broiled steak I'll eat at one
And dine again when day is done.
I want an ultramodern home
And in each room a telephone;
Soft carpets, too, upon the floors
And pretty drapes to grace the doors.
A cozy place of lovely things,
Like easy chairs with inner springs,
And then, I'll get a nice T.V.
- Of course, I'm careful what I see.
I want my wardrobe, too, to be
Of neatest, finest quality,
With latest style in suit and vest
Why should not Christians have the best?
But then the Master I can hear
In no uncertain voice, so clear:
"I bid you come and follow Me,
The lowly Man of Galilee."
"Birds of the air have made their nest
And foxes in their holes find rest,
But I can offer you no bed;
No place have I to lay my head."
In shame I hung my head and cried,
How could I spurn the Crucified?
Could I forget the way He went,
The sleepless nights in prayer He spent?
For forty days without a bite,
Alone He fasted day and night;
Despised, rejected - on He went,
and did not stop till veil He rent!
A man of sorrows and of grief
No earthly friend to bring relief;
"Smitten of God," the prophet said
Mocked, beaten, bruised, His blood ran red.
If He be God, and died for me,
No sacrifice too great can be
For me; a mortal man, to make;
I'll do it all for Jesus' sake.
Yes, I will tread the path He trod,
No other way will please my God,
So, henceforth, this my choice shall be,
My choice for all eternity.
- William McChesney
I have the feeling that this is going to be a very intense, challenging, but ultimately rewarding year. I'm going to do this. By His grace alone. For Christ alone. For His Gospel alone. For His glory alone. Because He's Jesus, and He's worth it. See you in the next post!
