Run Hard. Full Stop.

   This is my first post for the New Year! Happy New Year, everyone!

   I had a great New Year's Eve, as Angie, Tim, Jacky, Alana, Paulman and I attended Willingdon's New Year's Eve Service. It was a wonderful time of reverent prayer and worship, as we sang songs reflecting the guiding hand and strengthening presence of God - 'Everlasting God', 'Great is Thy Faithfulness', and many others. There was a time of testimony, as people shared about the marvelous ways in which God had touched their lives the last year, many describing how they had accepted Christ for the first time, returned to Him after years of wandering, seen God bring family members to salvation, healing from cancer, and much more. I was so moved listening to these stories, and I'm sure others were too. God spoke with powerful impact to many of us through the simple yet convicting message from Hebrews 12:1-2. 

   From there, it was off to Jamie's for a New Year's Eve potluck, and a wonderful time of food and fellowship, and a hospitality shown to all of us that reminded me so much of my mother's care of any guest that has crossed the threshold of our house. It inspired me to take care of people better when they come over.

   I found myself back home with Paulman, Tim, Angie, Jacky and Alana as the final hour of 2010 began to tick away. And as the last remaining minutes went by, our "family" remaining in Vancouver (with the rest away at Winter Conference in Calgary) came together to do something that I have desired for many years, but never had a close community to do it with. With a deep intimacy that has been born through the saving, redeeming, transforming and healing power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives, we gathered in silence my living room. Paulman prayed, pulled up the lyrics for some wonderful praise and worship music on our wall with the projector and playing his guitar, we sang and worshipped our Faithful God who has seen us through so much in the last year and ushered us together into a new one. It was such a powerful moment of connectedness as our Shepherd who has tended to His family of 9 little sheep was present in our midst, touching our hearts and minds with His presence. Here's a photo or two that I took:

Getting ready to worship as a family, as the final minutes tick away

Woshiping to the lyrics of 'Blessed Be Your Name' in our living room

   As I write this at 3 AM while watching Francis Chan's 'Crazy Love' on DVD, they are still in my living room - Angie sleeping on the couch, Tim sitting in my chair to chat, Paulman playing Starcraft. I look forward to seeing Alison, Tommy and Sam as they arrive back from Winter Conference. I love them all so much.

   The following hymn by Charles Wesley is my prayer for this year, as I run with all my might for my Christ, my Lord, my King, my All.

O Thou, who camest from above,
The pure celestial fire to impart
Kindle a flame of sacred love
On the mean altar of my heart!

There let it for Thy glory burn,
With inextinguishable blaze
And trembling to its source return,
In humble prayer, and fervent praise

Jesus, confirm my heart's desire,
To work and speak, and think for Thee
Still let me guard the holy fire,
And still stir up Thy gift in me

Ready for all Thy perfect will,
My acts of faith, and love repeat
Till death Thy endless mercy seal,
And make my sacrifice complete

     I'm going to run hard for the sake of The Name Above Every Other Name with every drop of life I have, even if it kills me. And if it does kill me, I will stand in His presence that much sooner, seeing the face and hearing the voice of the One whom my heart longs to behold. 

Run Hard. Full Stop.

- The Wisdom Seeker

"Family" Matters

Our "Family Portrait", taken at Vancouver YVR airport

  Three months ago, something extraordinary happened within a small group of friends whom I have known for some time from C4C @ SFU and attend the same church with. Over the last year and more, I had gotten into the habit of going to the same church service, sitting together, having meals, watching movies, talking, fellowshipping and sharing everyday life. Noticing long-standing patterns of interaction within our group dynamic (which only amplified over time) we gathered one Sunday afternoon to talk and address them. Some matters were touchy and sensitive, others controversial. Quite a bit of it had to do with me.

  I still have trouble expressing what happened at that gathering. I don't think anyone anticipated what happened, least of all me.

  We voiced concerns, grudges, emotions, sensitive matters, memories and processed them together. I had a lot of stuff to disclose, confess and repent for; so did everyone else. We vented, argued, rebuked, cried, shared, forgave, laughed and prayed together. It was strange and in some ways awkward for me, as I'd never done something like that before.

  But in the process, we experienced a very tangible and powerful bonding. I remember some of us talking about it days later and reflecting how we'd never seen or been part of something like that before. In many ways, we felt very much like a family, and some of us said so.

  Above all, I believe we saw the restoring power and grace of God through His Gospel brought to bear upon a community of fallen people. In his latest book "Has Christianity Failed You?", Ravi Zacharias makes a powerful observation:

  "Human beings will always find ways to divide and create hierarchies. Such is the plight of the human heart...This is the first clue to transcending ethnicity. One may call to Jesus out of his ethnic and cultural distinctive, but one's ultimate transformation comes in that personal dimension of trust apart from any cultural elitism...The call of Jesus is an invitation to freedom and trust. I am free only inasmuch as I can trust my fellow human being. If I cannot trust those around me, I am not free...The vision of God for humanity is that we might see his claim on us as an invitation to live and love, transcending all ethnic and cultural boundaries, not because Jesus is David's son, but because He is the instrument of power over all other power, of essential worth over political ideology, of human need over ethnic arrogance. He has eradicated every barrier of race and culture and position in life."

  So why am I writing this now? I stand at a fork in the road of my life, a turning point with a critical decision to make. I look around at those closest to me and see them looking back. I am moved, even unnerved by the depth of affection that I see  in their eyes. Maybe I am forced to confront the possibility that I have assumed myself to be unlovable by anyone, and shut everyone out  for years with that one assumption. 

  More often than not, we fallen human beings don't appreciate what we have, or the people God offers and makes available to us. Sadly, history will testify that the only way we realize value and are forced to grow is by losing and reflecting on what could have been. As the popular saying goes, "you don't know what you have until it's gone". From Genesis to Revelation and our own personal lives, we all have enough and more of those moments to remember and reflect on.

  To my Family and "Family": thank you for loving me in spite of my vacillation, moods, stubbornness, silence, stupidity, sullenness, bickering, sharp tongue, sensitivity, insensitivity, ingratitude, unkindness, and moments when I've shut you all out. As I realized a couple of days ago, I have nothing good to say about myself and everything good to say about my God.

  I love you all very much.

- The Wisdom Seeker